I’m not sure whether you all heard it or not. It wasn’t something that was widely published in the newspapers but it sure did catch my eye last week. It turns out that the brother of Dog the Bounty Hunter of “mullet tears” fame got nailed for. . .ahem. . .doing something naked in his car at the Bank of Hawaii parking lot at Ala Moana. Yeah, you heard me. Mullet tears.
Anyway, it seems aforementioned brother was scared of being caught and like a frightened, uh fugitive, tried to flee in his truck, almost hitting the security guard who was investigating the incident and generally “making a”. When arrested by the police some time later, he claimed that he was changing his clothes, like most people do after going to the beach. Sure. A legitimate excuse. The only problem? Everyone knows that the waves in the Ala Moana Parking Garage are 1-2 foot at best and NO self respecting surfer would be found dead on such flat conditions. (In all fairness, however, there were rumors that there was a pumping little shore break next to the sliding doors in front of the Sears Automotive Center.)
Changing?! In a parking lot?! Even if that was the case, why run? It’s not like your going to ever be on national television again. I say, be a man! get over the embarrassment of doing something stupid and just roll with it.
Not OVER it.
“Oh mullet tears,
rolling through the years. . .” (feel free to finish the verse or put it to music)